This time around I really thought I'd have a repeat of Benjamin's birth story, but things took a turn and it ended quite differently!
Once again, I found myself waiting and waiting for labor to begin. This time though, I was operating under a deadline, since the doctor that previously worked with my midwife was no longer at the center, and the midwife could not make the decision on her own to let me go postdates. As the date got closer, she reassured me that if I went over, I could finish my labor at the center after being induced at the hospital. The other option was getting one of her consulting physicians to change my dates, though this was unlikely since I had had an early ultrasound.
I was praying hard that Lydia would come in time, and trying everything possible to make it happen. If black and blue cohosh were addictive, I'd be a user by now! I did the every-twenty-minutes regimen for three hours at a time, on three different occasions. I used evening primrose oil every night for the last week. I also got myself into shape with the treadmill, evening and morning walks, and hikes. I explored every aisle in the local Walmart. I mowed the lawn. All this activity had me working up a sweat, but no contractions worth mentioning.
My midwife kept saying she'd like me and Jeff to come in to the center to try an all-morning routine of natural induction measures. That sounded like it might work, but it kept being postponed due to her packed schedule of problem patients and births. She simply couldn't fit it in. Saturday of my 42nd week passed, then Sunday. I knew Tuesday would be the magic 42 weeks, and we'd need to schedule an induction on Monday. I talked with my midwife on Monday morning. "Well, today's your day," she said. She recommended the cohosh, pumping and walking for 3 hours, and also getting a chiropractic adjustment in case the baby was hung up somehow and not engaging the pelvis. I practically ran on the treadmill for the 3 hours, talking to Lydia the whole time about how we needed to get going. Then I went to the chiropractor, who told me my hips were tilted very far forward and misaligned. I called my midwife again that afternoon to report the lack of progress and she told me to try the last resort....castor oil. I took half the dosage around 4 pm and the other half at 5.
Nothing happened...no diarrhea or nausea...but by evening (around 8:30) while watching Cars with Benjamin, I noticed some light contractions. After putting him to bed at 9:30 I realized they were regular. Nah, it can't be, I thought. I've spent the last three weeks imagining my Braxton Hicks are labor. I went to bed and tried to sleep but was too uncomfortable.
So I settled in the living room for an all-night vigil. I was familiar with this from Benjamin's birth. Just like before, contractions were 3-4 minutes apart and just hard enough to keep me from sleeping. I did a lot of internet surfing and some pacing. Around midnight I had some slight effects from the castor oil but nothing like the horror stories I'd heard. I started reading up on false labor for some reason and learned that some women have slightly painful, non-productive contractions (enough to disrupt sleep) for weeks before labor. Many midwives suggested taking Nyquil or a little wine to allow sleep. Finally I decided this was exactly what I was experiencing (false labor) and quit worrying and tried to sleep. I drifted off around 5 a.m. and was awakened by sounds in the kitchen around 7. I realized my contractions had stopped completely. At least I had SOME news to tell my midwife, though. I called her and she told me to come in at 9 for yet another adjustment with a chiropractor specialist.
We went and I had the adjustment. After that I had an appointment with my midwife and she told me, to my great surprise, that I was at 5 cm. and had a very favorable cervix. That was encouraging...it had been a relatively painless trip to 5 cm.! However, we still needed to reckon with my completely stopped labor. She told us to check in and start doing cohosh and walking again. She also brought out an electric double breast pump. Jeff and I jokingly called it The Inducer. (That thing worked so well that I expressed half an ounce of bright orange colostrum.) The contractions started again around 12 noon, but I had to work to get each one by walking very vigorously and pumping. They were 10 minutes apart and weak. These continued but gradually whittled down to 8 minutes apart over the next 5 hours. By 5:45 I was exhausted and convinced that I was just in false labor and would never progress. I felt so discouraged and the accumulated stress of waiting and wondering every day for the previous month (ever since my false labor episode) seemed to settle like a black cloud over me. I was tired of doing things to make labor happen. I just gave up and decided I needed a nap and didn't care what happened afterward.
That's when things took a turn. My theory is that the hormones from a good, relaxing cry, combined with nightfall coming on (my midwife has theories about that one) kicked things into gear. Perhaps too, simply giving up control of the labor experience helped. My next two contractions were only 5 minutes apart.
The contractions became gradually longer, stronger and less far apart over the next two hours. At first I liked the rocking chair (same good ol' chair I spent so many hours in during labor with Benjamin) and did well there. I got very cold at one point and had Jeff cover me up. The midwife came in and checked on me and warmed up a blanket in the dryer for me. Things were finally starting to happen.
This time counting through contractions didn't appeal to me. My sensations of the actual point of pain of the contraction were so much clearer this time. I didn't feel a general area of pain; instead it was almost like I could visualize my cervix being stretched. I felt and thought of them as muscle stretches and visualized the "turtleneck" image of the cervix coming over the baby's head. The contractions were quite strong, but not sharply painful.
Then transition began. I had been chatting with the midwife and Jeff between contractions and simply stopping to close my eyes when contractions came. So far I hadn't made a peep and was coping just fine though they were strong. Transition hit and it was like riding a fast-moving escalator. 2 minutes apart with a 1 minute contraction, then quickly 1:30 with a one minute, and then they were coming with one minute of hard pain and one of rest. I was too immobile in the chair and felt I needed gravity to assist me. I stood up and put my arms around Jeff's neck in the "labor dance" position. I couldn't talk at all and moaned softly through each one. Then I felt I needed to get on all fours to relax my legs and let my abdomen be loose. I crawled onto the bed and had five agonizing contractions. Jeff was about to get the midwife, but before he could go I felt a sudden pop and was soaked to my knees...my water broke all over the bed! That gave temporary relief but I knew now this labor was out of control and would be happening very quickly. Jeff ran to get the midwife from the next room and by then I was writhing, "in the throes" as she put it. Unlike my rational and somewhat detached state of mind at Benjamin's birth, I was laboring this time in a confusing whirlwind. I learned at that point that there are many different kinds of labors!! This one was a wild ride that was happening way too fast. I didn't want anyone to touch me, but I knew they had to clean up the water and get rid of my soaking pjs. That got done and then the dreaded check. When she said I was ready to push, I wasn't at all surprised. Transition had lasted about 20 minutes. There was some conversation about needing to call someone named Jessica and bringing the camera and I just really wished everyone would hush and let me concentrate. They asked if we wanted pictures, and in an effort to end the annoyance of conversation I said "Sure." (I wasn't sure I wanted the pictures, but probably later we'll be glad we have them!)
Pushing was not the strong, empowering feeling I experienced with Benjamin's birth. It was a desperate attempt to end this crazy labor! The first few contractions were so strong I couldn't remember to push effectively and pushed all up in my chest. After some eye-to-eye refocusing and coaching from the midwife I did better. I don't think I'll ever forget the animal intensity of pushing through the 5 contractions it took to get the baby's head out. Somewhere in there she checked the baby's heartbeat, and, horrifyingly, it was weak and very unsteady. I registered that clearly in all the labor noise and thought, "That's it...she's coming out. No holding back." I pushed HARD...I'm not even sure I had a contraction, I just pushed back to back for all I was worth. Jeff was a wonderful encouragement here. He kept telling me, "almost there...there's her head...you're doing great..." If he hadn't told me, I wouldn't have known when her head was out, because it didn't feel much different. The midwife told me, "now on this next one, you're done." It was actually kind of hard to get the body out, instead of the effortless slippery slide that was Benjamin.
So, she was out, covered with vernix and with a head full of thick, black hair. I felt her little limbs and couldn't think much past "that was crazy, and now I feel fine, just like that!" Things went from a life-and-death intensity to complete calm in a split second. It took me a few minutes to come down from the adrenaline. I was wide awake and wanted to see the cord and the placenta and everything. Lydia came out completely calm and alert and started nursing right away. She's a quiet, easy-going baby with nothing like the volume Benjamin showed the minute he came out and ever since then! She seemed completely unaffected by all the hullaballoo of a bumpy labor.
It wasn't until afterward that my midwife told me how amazed she was at my luck, or rather how blessed I had been. Lydia was a posterior presentation, facing the wrong way (face toward my belly instead of toward my back). All the textbooks say this presentation is usually accompanied by severe back labor and a very long pushing time. I had not a hint of back labor, and a far quicker pushing time than my previous anterior birth. And even with the difficult presentation, I had not torn in the least.
I feel very fortunate considering the details of this birth. I got the peaceful, unmedicated birth I wanted, just in the nick of time. Though the fact that Lydia was posterior could have caused complications and prolonged pushing time, it did not seem to affect my labor at all, and pushing time was anything but prolonged. I should have torn with a posterior baby, but fared even better than with Benjamin....not even a scratch. I can't say anything except that God is good and merciful to me when I don't deserve it. My birth experience follows in the theme of the biography of John Newton: God's providence, and His delight in pulling back the curtain just a little to show us what potential problems He is protecting us from. I know he had me wait until the last minute so He could show me His mercy toward me and care for me. My midwife told me later that she had been praying for me, and God gave her peace that I would not go postdates and all would be well. Thus her confidence in telling me "today's your day!" I don't doubt that sometimes God in His providence has us go through painful situations we would rather avoid, and when that happens He also gives us grace to handle it, and shows us things about Himself that we couldn't have learned any other way. But other times He just breaks in on our worry and dilemma with clear sunshine, like fog lifting, and makes us wonder at our lack of faith.
Praise You God for a wonderful, crazy, powerful birth after such a long season of waiting. The little girl you gave us was well worth the wait!
