A Ramble about Heaven

Heaven has been on my mind a lot lately, thanks to Ashley, a wonderful student and friend who passed away last week. Heaven was so real to her. She told friends and family that she was going to miss them but she was "really pretty excited about going to her HOME home, a place with no doctors, no medicines, no misery." With uncomplicated faith, Ashley took God at His word and looked forward to the wonderful place Christ describes. The thin teenaged body I saw yesterday in the casket was NOT Ashley. She had already gone on her great adventure!

Two years ago I read Randy Alcorn's book "Heaven" and came away from it exhilarated and with my eyes opened to many new truths. Before reading this book I shared many common hangups about Heaven. Why do we believe so many wrong things about Heaven? Alcorn points out that one of Satan's main goals is to feed us depressing lies or half-truths about it to demoralize us.

One of those things I've heard from the pulpit is that "we can't even imagine what Heaven will be like." Actually, the Bible tells us a lot more about Heaven than is preached on or taught in most circles. (I won't spoil it...you have to read the book!) God not only tells us a lot about it, down to details of what it looks like, but He does want us to use our imaginations. How would you feel if you'd built a beautiful vacation home for a beloved friend, described some of it to him, and realized that he would not even allow himself to dwell on how wonderful it was? That he treated the fact of its existence in such a "spiritual" way that he wasn't excited about the waterfall out back or the great food you'd stocked in the fridge or the wonderful view from the veranda? No, God wants us to think about Heaven and look forward to it. One of the important jobs He's been doing since He left this earth is "going to prepare a place for us." Can you imagine what it's like if He Himself devotes His time and attention to it?

Another thing we hear sometimes is "we probably won't even know each other in Heaven anymore. We'll maybe occasionally remember something like 'Earth' but it'll even be hard to remember what it was like. We'll just be lost in worshipping Jesus all day long." Well, I sometimes have a bad memory here on Earth. But there's no way I'll be dumber in Heaven than I am here! Christ didn't come to earth and fulfill prophecies in minute detail, just to have us forget about it all in some sort of memory wipe! If Christ keeps His wounds received on Earth, then surely Earth's history, from Fall to Armageddon, is special to Him. So much of it is recorded in His sacred Word. We will remember it all. Remembering will bring Him glory.

Another idea we get somewhere is that Heaven is like Nirvana. I don't want to play a harp all day long in some trancelike state, do you? God has work for us to do once we're in Heaven. Consider the messenger who talks with John. John bows to him, but he stops him and tells John that he's one of John's fellowservants. Just another redeemed human, doing a job God assigned. We are told we will judge the earth. We will have positions of responsibility. We will learn in Heaven. The martyrs in Revelation ask God, "How long will this go on?" They ask because they don't have all the answers. I believe Ashley is now learning to be a better guitarist. With a perfect body and mind, free from the effects of the Fall, she can learn a lot faster than she could here!

I love the part in Alcorn's book about the new Heaven and new Earth. We were created as terrestrial creatures, and our fate is tied up with the Earth's. It was cursed because of our sin. It will also be redeemed with us. It is not wrong to want our feet resting on solid ground. It's built into us. On the seventh day God finished His work and said it was good. It is still good for man to live on Earth. This is why God is going to create a new, perfect world, as real as the one we know now (but so much more beautiful!)

The wonderful thing about the new Heaven and Earth is that it shows God's power. Not only does He rescue us, pulling us out of a sin-cursed world, but he redeems the sin-cursed world as well! Everything is restored back to how it was in Eden...perfect humans, perfect world, perfect fellowship with God...only better, because God Himself will come down to dwell with us permanently! Satan and sin did their best to destroy all, but the result will be something even better than Eden.

That takes my breath away and makes me want to read the book again! If you have a secret dislike of Heaven or think it might be boring or scary or too "ethereal," please read this book. You'll come away from it refreshed and excited about what He has gone to prepare for you!

I look forward to meeting my friend Ashley in heaven some day and playing guitar duets with her. Heaven is going to be that much more special because she is there.

An Inspiration

Today one of my students, Ashley, may be going home to see her Father. Ashley is 13 and has been fighting liver and lung cancer for the last three and a half months. She is a creative, gifted girl who plays the classical guitar well after just a year and a half of lessons. She also puts her own poetry to music and enjoys drawing and painting. Ashley is beautiful and to see her you would think she is older than her 13 years. I can think of no single word that describes her better than "inspiration." Her diligence, intelligence and creativity are truly an inspiration to all who know her. When I began teaching at Berean I decided to hold a practice contest to help motivate my students. Each student was required to practice 30 minutes 5 times a week. Many did extra in an attempt to win the contest! Well, Ashley had my chart filled full of "points" very early in the semester. I ran out of space on the chart for her, while many other diligent students had practiced extra, yet still had half as many points. At one lesson she wryly told me that she hadn't put in as much time as usual, because her parents had told her to stop practicing so much!

In the year and a half that I taught her I watched her grow up from a little girl to a tall young woman. Beautiful inside and out, she always had a lot to bring to her lessons and was a special, extraordinary student. I enjoyed hearing her play a difficult piece at last year's recital. She memorized it and played well. This was after about 7 months, prior to which she had never played a note! To have such discipline at 12 and 13 is inspiring and humbling.

Since they found out the news that she had cancer, this family has been through so much. Ashley has endured procedures and pain and disappointment. Today, I had the honor of talking with her on the phone. I am so grateful to her mom for allowing me this privilege. I could hear the beep of the monitor and her voice, muffled from tubes and wires. I could not understand what she said clearly but they told me one of the things she said was "you don't get tired in Heaven." Praise God that heaven is real to her and that she will be there when God calls her home.

We've been praying for a miracle, for her healing. We knew that God would answer this one way or the other. Now as I think on the realities of Heaven I feel a bit jealous...if God wills she will soon be in His presence, walking the streets of that city and seeing the River that flows through it, being reunited with loved ones, complete in Christ and surrounded by the beauties of heaven. And becoming a far better guitarist than I will ever be.

Ashley, I am grateful to have known you and so proud of you. Our hearts go out to you and your family. You've taught us so much, and we love you.

Nursing Strike

Okay, it wasn't an official nursing strike because it didn't last two days or more, but it was weird. I'm glad it's over now. Benjamin refused to nurse all day today. He was definitely thirsty, because he took a bottle right away and drank it all, but every time I tried to feed him he screamed and cried. My theory is that I've been sneezing and coughing a lot while he's trying to eat. That combined with me sounding funny and not being very playful with him probably meant he wasn't liking me too much.
After Jeff and I had given him some extra attention and (Jeff especially) made him laugh a lot, he seemed less fussy. I tried nursing him again right after he woke up from a nap, while also walking around the room. It worked...yes!
Anyway, nursing strikes are a strange thing but it shows you that babies really are in tune to even little changes in their environment! Benjamin tends to pick up on my mood...if I'm grumpy, he gets fussy.
It's coming home to me that parenthood really is a sanctifying experience. You can't have a bad attitude. Or things get a lot worse! Like they say, if momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. And that leads to momma being MORE unhappy!

Sick

I didn't know you could catch things through cyberspace, but apparently you can. Thanks Elizabeth and Abbie!! The incredibly sore throat started Monday after teaching, and I called in sick the next two days. This stuff is no joke. Monday and Tuesday my throat felt like someone had taken a cheese grater to it. Now it's better but I sound like a 60-year-old smoker. A man. Who sings bass.

On a positive note, we did get some snow last night! It's nearly melted now, but we did take a drive around the neighborhood (with Benjamin, and no he was not in his carseat, I'm a bad mom) to enjoy it.

I've never dealt with a sick baby while I'm also sick myself, so thought I'd share some things I never even imagined that I'm sure other moms are familiar with!

1. You can't cough while nursing. I found out the hard way, and scared Benjamin so bad he wouldn't nurse again for a half hour.

2. You can't get a tissue for your runny nose while nursing. Move over Emily Post, I'm using my sleeve. Or a burp cloth. Or whatever's close.

3. Don't try to talk too much to your baby. Your new bass voice will scare and confuse him. Then again so will the fact that you're not talking to him.

4. If baby is also sick, be prepared to sleep in several different locations and contorted positions. I started out in my bed, moved to the nursery floor in a sleeping bag, and finally ended up (in the wee hours) in the nursing chair holding him, with my arm almost falling off!

5. If baby is also sick, be prepared to also nurse on the run. The only thing that may comfort your baby is bouncing and patting him, while also nursing. Pacing the room in this position is lots of fun at 2 a.m!

6. You are tied to fussy baby for the duration of the fuss. If you're thirsty, tough. Need to go to the bathroom, sorry!

7. The cool thing is, that, no matter how frustrated you are at your baby or how exhausted you feel by the end of the night, you will forgive him the minute he flashes those gums at you the next morning!

Happy New Year!

We had a great holiday, and spent time with Jeff's mom and grandmom, Mom and Dad, Ma Ma, Laurance and Kimberly, and Will and Laura. Seeing everyone makes me wish I lived closer! It was fun watching the cousins connect, even if Jonathan and Benjamin's first "play date" was a cry party! :D Boosie was so gentle with "Baby Benjen" and helped me fetch diapers and pacifiers for him. (She can say "pacifier." And "Ratatouille." Some of the other words are hard to make out but those are clear as day.)
We left the day before Christmas and came back the day after New Year's. After all the rush to decorate and get loose ends tied up before we left, we came back feeling like the holidays were over before they started! We did have a wonderful, relaxing time with family, though, and feel ready to start a new year.
New Year's day Jeff and I lit some candles and sat down to a planning session. Here are some of the resolutions I came up with. The best thing I've done for myself recently is made up a list of weekly chores and monthly chores (inspired by Martha Stewart's Homekeeping book, but leaving out any OCD parts such as dusting the smoke detectors!) I went for realistic and doable rather than perfect, and it feels great to know that "even though" the floor has cat hair on it, it doesn't matter, because I'm doing that TOMORROW.

1. Read at least 25 books this year. Finish up books I'm currently reading.
2. Brush up on my knowledge of French pronunciation for voice lessons.
3. Practice guitar more consistently. I'm doing a lesson every two weeks but still feel so unprepared every time.
4. Stick to my new cleaning regimen.
5. Read Bible and have devotions consistently, every day, no excuses. This has gone down the drain with unpredictable baby hours, but it's time to get serious.
6. Pray nightly for requests God lays on my heart. Jeff and I started doing this when my student was diagnosed with cancer. We keep it short but try to pray together every night before we fall asleep.
7. Work out. I have not exercised with any consistency since I found out I was pregnant! I'll have a bigger wardrobe and more energy if I can lose 10 lbs. My goal is to start small with 15 minutes a day.
8. Fix hot meals every night; even when I'm teaching, have something Jeff can put in the oven. I have 6 simple recipes to begin with. (Boring hot meal is better than no hot meal). Every month I'll add another recipe. That question "what's for dinner" will never make me cringe again. Or at least not as often.
9. Find time for crafts or creative things. This could be a sewing project, a musical composition, poem, drawing, decorating project, whatever.
10. Keep a biweekly "date night" with Jeff where we can discuss financial, spiritual, and mental wellbeing.